SHOWING AND SEEING...
I sometimes wonder about how we deal with our wounds and scars.
USUALLY we try to hide these - under makeup, under clothes or under too long sleeves... This is just the physical ones, the ones that are visible. But, the ones that we go to great lengths to hide, are the not-so-easily-seen ones: The emotional scars inflicted on us (sometimes by ourselves). Those we cover up by trying to become someone and something different in various settings: It manifests in our everyday living.
"I cover up my scar of coming out of a broken marriage by portraying to the outside world a side of myself that seems unaffected. Yet I am affected. In a sense it made me who I am."
"I was scarred by constantly living under the tension of verbal abuse. That made me extremely good at sensing what is the mood of my abuser. I therefore cover up my own emotional needs by always adhering to his moods and needs".
Usually we view this as deeply personal, and we would only allow someone into those deep crevices of our hearts when we are sure that we can trust them. But, my friend, I have a unfortunate surprise - Our scars are more visible than what we are aware of... Because usually the cover-up divulge exactly what is underneath. It shows what you are covering!
Jesus, on the other hand, had a quite different approach:
“Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.
Yes, correct, Jesus is talking about physical wounds here. BUT what he is also doing, is meeting the disciples where they are at: In their midst, with their scarring, and their fears, and he announces to them peace. He knows where and who you are, scars and all.
When Jesus shows them His scars, its not just to proof that it's really Him and that He is fully human. It is also to remind them that His scars, are essentially THEIR scars. He bore them all. It is to say: I know. I know your covering-up, your guilt, your deep scars. I do not just know them. I carry them. And I am meeting you where you are, and therefore you can have peace.
It is in the scarring of His wounds (and OUR wounds) that they (we) really see Him for who He is. He is He. He is God. He is All-knowing. He understands. He embraces us, and shows us His scars, so that we can have the courage to show him ours.
And that gives the disciples joy that is described as overjoyed! May God show you His scars, and may you see in them yourself. May He then meet you, and may that make you overjoyed.
Hopefully then, we can wear them wounds with pride, and become who we already are, rather than the portrayal of what we believe others want us to be.
What scars of God can you identify with?
Are you still carrying them alone, or do you allow God to embed them in His cross-scars?
Are you comfortable to wear them with pride?